Good morning and welcome to our blog once again. What a week its been, dealing with the passing of a dear family member, then Ziva getting ill but thank God she’s made a swift recovery. So here we are once more on a Friday morning. I want to chat about something very important to our journey, prior to and especially during our adoption process we engaged the skill of a dynamic, highly professional and warm social worker. She is fondly referred to as our “earth angel”.

We still consult with her when our family encounters any challenges. Part of her assistance method  is a support group that we are a part of for the past 10 years.  We make time to meet as often as possible however during the past 23 months  it has  been difficult to meet. We chat or catch up frequently on our whatsapp group.

One of the things we were advised to do as soon as possible was to “tell” . This means we had to be the ones to explain to our child that she is adopted into our family.

So for me who had the struggle of returning to work after 3 months of  adoptive leave. Ziva was in the care of our family when I returned to work. I am truly grateful for all the love and support received from our family during that time. It was an extremely difficult time for me and I was so desperate for her to know that I was mum.  I’d come from work I would take her little 3 month old hand and tap at her heart and say Ziva, Ziva, Ziva and then tap at my heart and say mum, mum, mum.

When she recently did that to me I was totally surprised that she remembered this. These actions was to establish who I was and who she was. She learnt her name very quickly and her first word was mum. That just thrilled my heart ❤

After discussing the “telling” with my husband, we decided  that I would be the one to “tell” and  so the “telling” began very early. I would speak to her about being “born from my heart” . It was most important that Ziva heard this from me, so I would rehearse my thoughts from when she was still very little. I am glad I did that. It is who we are and we love that.

It is heart wrenching to say these things out loud. You struggle with the fact that this child is finally here and you love her with your whole being and you have to relay these truths to her that is imperative to the development of her, her dad, for me and our relationship as a family.

I’d simply say things like mum carried you in her heart and not her tummy. I had a sore tummy that was unable to. Then there is the mention of the aunty that did carry her in her tummy. She did so, so that we could be a family. So the monologue continued.

Adoption is a word embraced in our family. It is a beautiful word that makes us family. Now Ziva speaks openly and freely about her being adopted. She owns it. She thinks that she is super special because she is double adopted.  Yes, she is firstly adopted into the family of God and into our family.

As she has grown and developed, interacted with other adopted kids like herself, she has had many questions to which I simply answer honestly and age appropriately. There have been times when I had to run to our “earth angel” or to one of my dear sister on this similar journey. The advise and support we’ve received has been phenomenal.

I would be lying if I didn’t mention the times Ziva and I fell into each other’s arms in tears after a conversation or after a question she had. It’s tough to watch the hurt on her beautiful face during these times. It’s our painful reality and it usually ends with thank you mum and thank you Ziva. We are grateful to God for this amazing privilege of being family.

I am positive that “telling” which is part of our journey has made us the strong family we are right now.

Please feel free to contact us via the various platforms we feature on should you want to know more or require assistance in this regard.

Love always….