Good morning, good people. Another fruitful week brings us to a beautiful Friday morning in Durban.
The “Telling” is an integral part of the adoption journey.
Our very kind and special social worker “our earth angel” as she is fondly referred to has advised early on in our adoption about the “telling” We belong to a family of over 40 adoptive families. We meet several times a year to grow and learn from each other. One of the initial topics discussed is the “Telling” This means starting the process of explaining to your child that they did not come to you biologically.
Back in the day adoptive stories were kept under wraps and never spoken about openly. Children growing up now who know their adoption stories learn more about themselves from a young age.
Normalizing the adoption narrative has made it easier for the child. They own and are proud of their story. Nowadays adoption professionals, birth parents, and adoptive families speak freely about the child and their birth details .
My talks with Ziva started as early as 3 months. I would say things to her like “you were born in my heart baby” At first there were tears shed and many heartbreaking moments but as I got stronger with the narrative it became more easier to speak the words out to her.
Over the months I would add a sentence or two. All our telling is age appropriate. The word adoption is a beautiful word in our home. A word of deep and genuine love. A word of deep value, never spoken loosely.
The curiosity has heightened and the questions from our girl has grown. After each of our discussions we a left with a sense of gratitude and awe that God brought us together as a family and for that we are eternally grateful and love Him ❤
Keep “Telling” they need to know.
Love always